Tuesday, April 25, 2017

#2,343. Fairy Tales (1978)

Directed By: Harry Tampa

Starring: Don Sparks, Sy Richardson, Irwin Corey

Tag line: "A lusty, rowdy spoof of all your favorite fairy tales!"

Trivia: Martha Reeves was apparently unaware that she was appearing in an adult film, until she took members of her church to see it.

Fresh off the success of Cinderella in 1977, Charles Band and company again threw their hat into the adult arena with Fairy Tales, a 1978 musical sex spoof that takes aim at a number of classic fairy tales and nursery rhymes.

The Prince (Don Sparks) has just turned 21, and the entire kingdom expects him to produce an heir. But there’s a problem: the Prince is a virgin, and says the only girl who enflames his passion is Beauty (Linnea Quigley), who he’s never actually met! Still, the law is quite clear on this matter, and if the Prince doesn’t find a mate by the middle of the week, he must forfeit his claim to the throne.

So, it’s off to the far-away land of make-believe, where the Prince strikes out with Bo-Peep (Angela Aames) and doesn’t find a single girl who tickles his fancy at the brothel co-owned by Gussie Gander (Brenda Fogarty), aka the madam who lives in a shoe, and her pimp Sirus (Cy Richardson). Not even an encounter with the perpetually horny King Cole (Bob Leslie) can inspire the Prince to take his predicament more seriously. But Sirus and Gussie have one more surprise hidden up their sleeves, and if it’s successful, this story will surely have a happy ending.

A handful of familiar faces turns up throughout Fairy Tales, including Cy Richardson (the Fairy Godmother in Band’s Cinderella) as the pimp Sirus; Angelo Rossitto (the diminutive actor who portrayed “Master” in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome) as Otto, co-sheriff of the territory; and Linnea Quigley (in her screen debut) as Beauty, the only girl the Prince has the hots for.

Along with its talented cast, Fairy Tales features some decent musical numbers. The opening song, a hilarious tune titled “Been a Virgin Too Long”, is performed by a trio of royal physicians (Irwin Corey, Robert Harris, and Simmy Bow) who urge the Prince to go out and find a wife; and while Snow White (Anne Gaybis), one of Gussie’s best “girls”, is busy belting out a song, her seven dwarfs join in on the act, tearing off Snow White’s clothes as she parades around the room! In addition, there’s a BDSM-themed ditty that owes more than a little to the Andrew Sisters; and Motown sensation Martha Reeves even shows up to sing a catchy disco tune. Fairy Tales also has its share of humor, with plenty of one-liners that hit the mark (while leading the Prince into the brothel / shoe, Sirus tells him it is “The place where Pinocchio got his first nose job”).

Not all of the musical numbers are entertaining (Bo-Peep’s song, which she performs moments after meeting the Prince, was like nails on a chalkboard for me), and despite its short runtime the movie still drags in spots (especially the late scenes involving King Cole). But odds are that, if you enjoyed Cinderella, you’ll probably get a kick out of Fairy Tales, too.

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