Thursday, September 16, 2010

#41. The Beast That Killed Women (1965)

DVD Synopsis: Poor Delores Carlos. Unable to get an even tan, she and hubby Byron Mabe scurry off to a Miami nudist camp at precisely the same moment the camp is invaded by The Beast That Killed Women, a goofy-looking gorilla with an appetite for the ladies! Murder and panic quickly spread through the camp: "She said he was big and hairy!" Worse, the hardened police even march right through a game of nude volleyball with a corpse on a stretcher! Finally, after Miss Carlos is chased by the big monkey, a pretty policewoman volunteers to enter the camp as ape bait...

Let’s see…how do I relate my thoughts on the 1965 nudist horror film, The Beast That Killed Women? Well, here are the notes I took while I was watching the movie:
  1. low-budget nudie cutie” – Nudie Cuties were films from the late 50’s into the 60’s that were mostly set in a Nudist Colony. For more on Nudie Cuties, consult your local library or Wikipedia
  2. Bad Acting” – Really? I actually put that down? Well, no shit.
  3. She looked into the camera!” – Yeah, the lead character’s wife did this when she was walking out of the bathroom. It was pretty obvious.
  4. Above average nudist chicks” – At least the ones that didn’t have beehive hairdos.
  5. Everyone sucks at volleyball” – They were just throwing the ball back and forth (which means no jumping!)
  6. Half these nudists are fully dressed” – including the ones playing volleyball
  7. The Beast is a guy in an ape suit” – Well, this is pretty self-explanatory
  8. He’s gonna drop her!” – You’d think that a beast that killed women for a living would know how to carry their bodies.
  9. "Where the hell are these people from?” – Seriously, I couldn’t figure out half of these accents
  10. These women can’t scream” – Not one of them! Absolutely terrible screamers
  11. So bad, it’s Good?” – Absolutely! I had a hell of a time! (Beer helped)


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